Burned Out
by tessinciucy
Summary: Deeks came back from a LAPD assignment but something is not right with him. Soon the whole team will find out... - Rated T, just to be sure, because I still don't get the all rating thing.
1. Chapter 1

Here I go again, taking my courage by his horns and posting another story. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me and wasted some time reading my previous one.

Again, all the mistakes and mine and mine only. Sorry about that.

The characters of NCIS LA don't belong to me, I just like to play with them a bit.

* * *

Burned-Out

She walked into the Mission as she did in the past months, a coffee in her hand, a paper-bag with doughnuts in the other, but this morning Kensi Blye couldn't hide a little bit of apprehension.

"Morning Kensi" Callen greeted her with a smile curving his lips.

"You're even earlier than usual. Any particular reason?" Sam added teasing her.

Kensi didn't reply at all, her eyes moved to the empty desk next to Sam's and a hint of disappointment darkened her expression.

"You know him, Kens... always late" Callen told her reading what was going through her mind.

"I thought that for once he could show up in time..." she remarked dryly. _Damn it_, she said to herself, _he's six months later_.

Yeah, it had been six months since the last time she had seen her partner, six months without Deeks.

The LAPD in fact, had required his presence, saying that they needed him to go undercover into a non-specific operation. No one at NCIS knew what he was involved to, not even Hetty.

Once in a while, they had received confirmation that he was still alive, but in too deep to contact them at all.

Days turned into months, the few updates they seldom got, weren't enough to relax them, especially Kensi who was growing worried and anxious day after day.

She hadn't realized how much she had missed his presence at her side, his stupid jokes... man, she even felt the need to hear his idiotic surfer drawl.

She didn't truly know how much she liked having him around until yesterday, when Hetty told them that LAPD operation was finally over and that Deeks was coming back... today. Her heart had started beating madly at the idea of feeling his calming presence beside her, so today she arrived at the bullpen full of expectations, hoping to find him already there, but her hopes had been disappointed and her face was probably unable to hide that emotion.

"It wouldn't be that shaggy partner of yours if he showed up before 9.30am!" mocked her again Sam, noticing Kensi's frown.

"It's just that I… that I…" she stopped sensing a sudden presence behind her.

"…you missed me?" the voice finished for her jokingly.

Before Kensi could add anything, Deeks greeted the other agents, passing by her "Morning guys…"

Callen was the first to approach him, shaking his hand and giving him a hug "Glad to see you Deeks…"

Uncommonly for him, Sam got up and walked towards Deeks, offering a hand to shake as well "Welcome back" he affirmed solemnly, patting the other man's shoulder, surprising him.

"Wow… what's happening here? It's like you truly missed me" the LAPD detective winked cunningly.

"Missing you? Are you kidding me? This place was so peaceful and silent…" the ex-Seal started pretending to be very serious.

"…but it didn't sound the same without you, talking all day… speaking nonsense non-stop…" finished Called.

Deeks scratched his head a bit embarrassed, surprised by the other agents unexpected affection, then turning towards Kensi he said grinning "And you partner, did you miss me?" even if he was still smiling, his eyes were veiled by an uncharacteristic seriousness.

"Not a chance… I enjoyed too much the silence…" she remarked unable to take away her glance from him. From the exterior he looked like the same Marty Deeks, ok maybe he lost a bit of weight, his hair and beard were longer than usual, probably because of the part he had to play while undercover, but his eyes… well there was something into them that unsettled Kensi or perhaps it was the fact that they lacked the usual sparkle, the light that brightened Deeks' whole expression.

For a moment, she thought she was staring at a complete different man "You ok?" she asked instinctively.

He bowed his head, biting his lips "Never been better" then looking at her, he smiled again, but the smile didn't reach his blue eyes that were darker than ever.

Deeks moved to his desk and Kensi followed him with her glance… something was wrong, definitely wrong. It seemed that he was carrying a heavy burden on his shoulder, like the weight of the whole world was hunching him down.

"Oh… ok. Good…" she told him not convinced by the answer. She knew very well though, that even if Deeks was such a talkative person, he could be very secretive about personal matters, even more than she was herself. So she decided to let it go for the moment, waiting for him to open up when he felt the need "Oh and Deeks... welcome back..."

He locked his eyes on hers, silently, then he whispered distantly "Thanks" before starting checking his desk.

During the rest of the morning they all sat at their desks, filling paperwork or typing something on the computer. They didn't have any case so they took things calmly. Once in a while one of them said something, starting a light conversation.

Everything seemed back to normal but Kensi couldn't stop staring at her partner. No matter how much he smiled or joked, this was not the Deeks she knew. He looked exhausted and now that she could carefully study him, she noticed details she didn't catch early.

There were dark circles under his eyes, his hair was longer and even messier than usual, his beard untrimmed. He looked like someone who hadn't slept in ages. He was filling a report but once in a while, he stopped, glance lost looking at an undefined point in front of him, blankly, his hand slightly trembling... it seemed like he was in a distant world and from the look of it, it was not a great place to be.

Kensi was worried, she had never seen him like that and what she was witnessing now, scared her.

"I need Hetty's signature on this document" she finally said getting up "Anyone needs anything from her?"

Callen and Sam replied in unison "No thanks" but Deeks didn't even lift his head from his work.

"Deeks..." Kensi started trying to catch his attention.

He shook himself from his thoughts, almost startled by her voice "Yeah?"

"Are you sure you're ok?" she asked unable to hide her concern, that didn't go missed by the other two agents.

"I'm fine" the LAPD Detective answered a bit harshly.

"Actually you look like someone who hasn't seen a bed in months..." Called remarked lightly.

"Maybe you could have taken a day off..." added Sam.

"I said I'm ok!" Deeks got up abruptly "Stop asking!" and with that he walked away, leaving everyone dumbstruck.

"Ok... who the hell is that guy?" it was Callen the first to react.

"Don't know, but even if he resembles Deeks, he's not him" Sam stood up, moving to go after the younger man "I'll go..."

Kensi stopped him "No, let him be, Sam. He won't tell you anything... not now..."

"You sure?" wondered Callen dubiously.

"Yeah, give him some space..." she told him "I... I better go, I need to talk to Hetty". She turned around and left the two senior agents speechless.

"Sam, do you have an idea of what the hell just happened here?"

"Don't know G, but whatever it is, it's nothing good..." Sam stated gravely "I can feel a storm coming"

"So we better get our umbrellas..." with that Callen went back to his paperwork.

"I don't think they'll be enough though..." the ex-Seal sat back at his desk, unable to go back to his work. He could sense that something was definitely wrong... if only he knew what exactly… "It's going to be nasty, I can feel it"

His partner nodded, his face serious "You don't know how much I'd like you to be wrong… but sadly, I have to agree… things are getting nasty"

They looked at each other for a while, then sighing deeply they got back to what they were doing. There was no need for other words, they both knew they had to keep their eyes open and very alert… hoping that their bad feelings were not right.

* * *

Kensi nervously stood in front of her boss for at least fifteen minutes while the operation manager signed her reports, trying to find the words to voice her worries, her hands entangled to each other.

"Is there something I can truly do for you, Miss Blye? Other than signing these reports I didn't ask for…" Hetty asked without moving her eyes away from the papers.

The question surprised Kensi a bit, she should be used to Hetty's perceptiveness but the smaller woman always found a way to be one step ahead of everyone "Ah… well… I…" she hesitated.

The operation manager lifted her head, arching an eyebrow while smiling cunningly "You probably know that I don't bite"

The young agent couldn't suppress a chuckle "Hetty, do you have an idea of what kind of assignment Deeks was working on in these past months?"

Hetty stopped what she was doing, picking up a cup of tea and having a long sip "And you asking that as a professional curiosity or… there's more?"

Kensi closed her eyes and sat in one of the vacant chairs facing her boss' desk "It's… I don't know… it's Deeks. He looks the same man as always, I mean it's him… but at the same time, he's not Deeks as well…" she paused shaking her head "I sound crazy, don't I? I mean I know it looks like him, but… he's different Hetty and believe me, what I saw in his eyes scared me"

"And what exactly did you see in his eyes that unsettled you so much?" Hetty observed her agent, realizing how concerned the young woman truly was.

"Nothing"

"I'm sorry Miss Blye, but I don't follow you here. You said you were scared by your partner's eyes and now you are telling me that there is nothing into them that…"

"No, Hetty… I didn't see nothing at all in his eyes…" Kensi looked at the ceiling as she could find the way to explain herself clearly "Usually Deeks' eyes are so bright, so full of life, whatever he is doing, with whoever he's talking to. Looking at him is like seeing a little kid on his birthday, only that with Deeks it happens every day… every moment of the day. It's hard to see him mad or… sad, but even in those moments, you can see the passion and the emotions flowing through him… and you can see them through his eyes…"

Hetty nodded as a little grin curved her lips, she understood exactly what Kensi was telling her, because this was something she had loved since the very first time she had met Marty Deeks. For him, it was true the saying that Eyes were the mirror of the soul.

"This morning, I looked at him straight in the eyes and all I could see was… nothing, a blank spot. He was joking and laughing, but his eyes were not… it was like looking at an empty shell" the young agent felt a pang in her heart when realization of her words caught up with her; biting her lips nervously, she added "Hetty, something happened to him, something that changed him so deeply… whatever it was that made him change like that, happened while he was undercover… it must be…"

"Miss Blye, you know better than me that working undercover is not easy and not all the jobs were the same, some are more taxing than others… some take you to places you will never want to visit. Give your partner a little bit of time to decompress. He's been away for six months, pretending to be another person, living another life…" Hetty tried to reassure her agent that whatever was happening to detective Deeks was normal and maybe she wanted to believe it herself. In fact, she couldn't deny the fact that Kensi's words had worried her, more than she wanted to let on.

"I know Hetty… I've been there myself, well maybe not as long as Deeks did, but… I can't ignore my instinct. I can't ignore the little voice inside my head that is screaming that something is wrong with him" the young agent had to stop and take a deep breath before going on, realizing that she was getting too emotional and Kensi Blye was not emotional, she couldn't allow herself not to be in control "He's my partner… and… I can't simply go on like I didn't see anything… I… know something is wrong with him. I'm sure of it, I know him too well not to see that and ignore that…"

"…and he's your friend too. I understand…" the smaller woman got up and circling her desk, she sat beside her agent, putting a hand over Kensi's "I'll see what I can do. I'll try to contact the Chief of LAPD, he owes me a couple of favors I think it's time for him to give me some… payback"

"Thanks, I really appreciate it" the young agent said getting up. She had already turned around to leave, when Hetty called her back.

"And Miss Blye..." she started waiting for Kensi to face her "Stay close to your partner, keep an eye on him... and be there for him"

Kensi nodded silently before replying "Of course... as always" and with that she left.

Hetty sighed deeply. She couldn't deny the fact that her agent's words had made her pretty concerned. Deep inside of her, she had suspected that something was not right with Mr. Deeks when she had seen him walking into the Mission that morning, but probably things were even worse that she initially thought.

Taking another deep breath, she picked up the phone and dialed the number of the Chief of LAPD.

* * *

Kensi had just left Hetty, when she heard a commotion coming from the area where her and her friends' desks were situated. Her all senses alerted listening to the loud voices. She ran towards them, freezing at the surreal scene appearing in front of her eyes.

Deeks was standing in front of Callen, pointing a gun at him while Sam was aiming his weapon at Deeks.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kensi asked unable to hide her fear for the awkward situation.

It was Sam who spoke first "Don't know Kensi… after you left, Deeks came back, he seemed ok but when G approached him, patting him on the shoulder, he snapped, taking out his gun and pointing it at Callen"

Callen was trying to add something but Deeks stopped him.

"Shut up or I'll shoot you where you stand!" the cop yelled angrily, his hand shaking dangerously.

"Deeks… hey… why don't you put the gun down and you tell me what happened?" Kensi moved some tentative steps towards her partner, locking her eyes on his. Once again she was shocked. Deeks' eyes were distant as he wasn't really there, like his mind was miles away. The deep blue of his orbits had lost all of its intensity, leaving only a dull and unfocused grey color.

"There's nothing to talk about… I told the bastard not to touch me, to stay away from me, but no he simply can't do that, because he likes it too much… he likes too much hurting people" Deeks paused, his words full of anger, but at the same time, of pure terror.

The whole office had gone silent; Hetty walked slowly towards the scene and so did Eric and Nell, all of them incredulous.

The Operations Manager approached Kensi who halted her with a movement of her hand "No Hetty, look at his eyes. He's not… he's not here at the moment, his mind is somewhere and for what we can see, it's looks like hell to him…" she whispered.

Hetty nodded silently, then talking directly to Sam she said "Mr. Hannah, I confide in you… not to hurt him more than necessary if the situation will require your intervention"

The ex- Seal didn't take his glance away from Deeks who was still aiming his gun at Callen "You ok there G?" he asked.

"I'll be better when he'll put that gun down…" the senior agent said, lowering his voice as much as possible, hoping not to be heard… in vain though. He knew Sam would not let Deeks shoot him, but being in front of the barrel of a gun was never a nice experience, especially when the man carrying that gun was a friend.

"Shut up!" Deeks yelled again, even louder than before. His eyes were full of rage now, blinding and consuming.

Kensi was absolutely terrified, not recognizing at all this man, so different from her usual easy going and gentle partner "Deeks… look at me… it's Kensi…" she told him, moving another step towards him. She was trying to put herself between the gun and Callen's figure "Give me the gun… and everything is going to be fine"

"No! You're lying… he will come back to hurt me…. Again. I had enough of that…" Deeks straightened his arm as his finger danced on the trigger. He looked like he was truly ready to take the shot.

"I know… but this is not the solution to your problem. I know you don't want to pull the trigger…." Kensi continued talking; she was almost in front of the gun.

"Be careful Miss Blye" Hetty warned her, holding her breath.

"It's ok… he won't hurt me. Deeks will never hurt me… won't you Deeks?" she wondered seeing his partner struggle.

"Step aside Kensi… I have to do that…" Deeks' hand shook badly now, as something was breaking inside of him "I can't take it anymore… I simply can't… I need to stop him…"

"Give me the gun Deeks, then I'll take care of him… I promise you" she could see that his partner was hesitating, that he was considering her words, that finally he was almost responding to her.

"Kensi… he's not himself, remember that…" Callen whispered "Careful…"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" completely enraged, Deeks moved Kensi aside and walked closer to Callen, the gun pointed directly at his heart "Shut your fuckin' mouth… you drunk bastard! You've done hurting me… or her… how does it feel like being on the other side for once?" there was dangerous note in his voice, something no one had ever heard, an evil note that chilled everyone's bones.

"Dear God… he thinks Callen is his father…" Hetty murmured moving her hand to her mouth.

"Hetty, I can take him down… I'm waiting for your order" Sam stated tightening the grip on his gun.

"No!" Kensi stopped him, almost begging him "Please… let me try again, just one more time, then… I'll take him down myself if I have to fail…"

Sam arched his eyebrows, shocked by her statement and resolution "You sure?"

She nodded, unable to take her eyes away from her partner, praying to find a way to breach into the fantasy his mind had created "I can handle it..." once again she walked to put herself between the weapon and Callen.

"Step aside!" Deeks ordered her, brandishing the gun menacingly.

"No" Kensi simply told him, calmly but firmly. She had a fire burning inside of her, but she tried to keep a calm appearance not to agitate his partner even more "I'm not going anywhere Deeks... because I know you don't want to do this. I know you, you're a gentle and caring person, who has a smile for everyone, even during the hardest moments. You're the man who can go deep down to my soul without me even realizing it. You're the man who makes this team better..." she paused a bit waiting for him to digest her words "Please, put the gun down. I promise you that everything will be ok. Do you trust me Deeks?"

He looked at her, his hand shaking, but this time there was a hint of doubt in his expression, in his blue eyes that were still blank and unfocused... distant, too distant "I... I can't..." all of the sudden tears formed in his eyes "I can't let him hurt me... not anymore... I can't..."

"No one is going to hurt you... or I'll shoot him myself. You know I can do that" Kensi insisted, getting closer to her partner. She could almost touch the gun now, gun that was still pointed at Callen though. She moved another step, her look locked on him.

"I... I had enough Kensi... enough of being hurt... enough..." Deeks was sobbing now, hundreds of emotions flowed through his body. He was so tired... "I can't... enough..." his legs failed him and he collapsed on the floor on his knees.

Kensi knelt beside him, taking the gun away and catching him as he fell in her arms, his head on her shoulder "It's ok... it's ok. Everything is going to be ok... it's over now"

The LAPD detective couldn't stop himself and burst out crying as his partner embraced him, comforting him, making slow circles on his back... soothing his pain.

Sam finally lowered his gun, relieved as he watched Callen releasing the breath he was holding since everything had started. Everyone relaxed. Nell leaned on Eric, looking for his support as he smiled softly to her. Hetty closed her eyes, sighing deeply. It had been a close call.

Still crying Deeks lifted his head and looked straight into Kensi's eyes, a hint of recognition flashed into his sorrowed glance "I'm... sorry..." he told her, almost inaudibly.

She smiled softly, glad to see something into his deep blue eyes, a real emotion, a sign that the real Marty Deeks was finally back "It's ok... everything is fine now..." Kensi was still holding him when his body, suddenly, went limp in her arms "Deeks... Deeks? Deeks!" something was wrong with him. Her fingers moved to his neck, looking for a pulse that came feebly but erratic.

"Kensi..." Callen asked worriedly, approaching his two friends "What's wrong?"

"Eric! Call an ambulance... now!" Kensi yelled with a note of desperation that froze everyone in the room.

"Kensi... what's wrong? Answer me..." Sam shouted kneeling next to her.

"I... he's in shock... he's not breathing!" Kensi turned to face the ex-Seal, unable to hold the tears.

* * *

A/N: if my bad English is disturbing someone, just let me know and I'll stop posting. No prob at all:). Thanks. Ciao


	2. Chapter 2

First of all, thank you for all the nice reviews, favorites and alerts. You don't know how much it means to me :) then I wish not to disappoint anyone with the following chapters. I added a couple of bits to my original version, just because it sounded too rushed, it lacked a bit of the Team. I hope it still makes sense. Fingers crossed.

Just to clarify, I don't have any kind of medical knowledge, but I just take some hints from something I witnessed in RL (And probably I watch too many TV shows... I confess) so I apologize in advance if something I wrote is uncorrect.

Now... again, everything I said in the disclaimers of Chapter 1, applies here.

* * *

Burned Out - Chapter 2

She watched him from the observation glass window and she couldn't stop feeling a tight knot clenching her stomach. Kensi had been standing there for at least one hour but he hadn't moved a single time, not even when the nurses came inside to check on his IV. Deeks was staring at an undefined spot in front of him, eyes wide open, blankly, his expression lost.

Three days ago he had been admitted to the hospital, after what happened at the Mission, in respiratory arrest. The doctors stabilized him and started to cure his body, hydrating it and filling it with some nutrition. They said he was so exhausted physically, drained of all the energy, that his system broke down, making him collapse. But after the first moments of pure concern about his physical state, the doctors realized that it was his mental state that worried them the most.

After waking up the second day in fact, Deeks hadn't said a single word. He simply laid in bed, staring at nothing, not addressing anyone or anything happening around him, unresponsive to any external stimulation. All of his friends had visited him, even Callen, talking to him, hoping to shake him from his vegetative state, but with no results. He had completely shut down.

"Any change?" Hetty asked, walking stealthily next to Kensi.

The young agent, bowed her head, looking at her hands holding tightly the railing. She felt so useless "No" she admitted reluctantly.

"I spoke with the Chief of LAPD today… he told me about the operation Mr. Deeks has been working on for the last months" the Operations manager continued with a grave voice, catching immediately the attention of her agent "He infiltrated another human trafficking ring lead by a name called Arthur Tan, posing as a corrupted officer of Immigration Office" she paused to let Kensi digest the first information "He was supposed to help Tan's organization to bring kids into the US only to be sold to the best bidding to became sexual slaves or…" she couldn't go on, words died in her throat "…or even worse…"

Kensi tightened her grip on the railing, she knew how much Deeks was fond of kids, it must have been terrible for him working on this assignment, but maybe this was not enough to trigger such a reaction in her partner, to reduce him in the condition he was at the moment "And…?" she asked, not sure she wanted to know the entire story.

"Before selling the kids, Tan offered them to his men… as he wanted them to test the goods before putting them on the market"

"Oh my God… how…" the agent was speechless "Did… did Deeks have to…" she couldn't put on words her thoughts, it was painful just to imagine it.

"According to his handler, Mr. Deeks had to play along to keep his cover intact, he was supposed to be an evil and greedy bastard, but he managed to fool Tan and his men, pretending to do what he was offered to…" Hetty explained watching Kensi sighing in relief "But… I think he was forced to witness things that could turn upside down the stomach of the most experienced of criminals… knowing Mr. Deeks' gentle soul, I can't find hard to believe why he reacted so badly… considering the fact that he had to go on with his work and collect evidences that could send Tan to jail without any possibility to be released immediately. It must have been very hard for him…"

"I… I understand that… but I don't get why he lost it like he did at the bullpen… why he saw his father in Callen…" Kensi was talking mostly to herself as she tried to figure out what her partner had been through during his assignment "Hetty, what are you not telling me?"

The Operations manager closed her eyes that were clouded by unshed tears "Tan… liked to go very rough on the kids, beating them just for fun… and he liked to go rough on his collaborators as well… just for fun… for his personal enjoyment… No one dared to go against him. Arthur Tan was a very dangerous man, who didn't like to be crossed or contradicted… who didn't hesitate to kill his opponents or whoever didn't agree with him"

"Was?" Kensi wondered, looking at Hetty straight in the eyes for the first time.

"He's dead… Mr. Deeks shot him during the final burst" the older woman told her gravely.

After few moments of awkward silence, Kensi finally found the way to ask the question whose answer she feared to receive "Did Tan hurt Deeks in any way?"

"Miss Blye, if you mean whether Mr. Deeks has been assaulted sexually, the answer is no" Hetty locked her glance on her agent's "But… he's been beaten… more than once… according to Mr. Deeks' handler, because his job wasn't satisfactory for Tan… Fortunately it was good enough to keep him alive though…"

"And that was what probably triggered his reaction…" Kensi passed a hand through her hair "What a mess…" she turned around and moved towards the entrance of her partner's room.

"Where are you going Kensi?" the Operations manager wondered, concerned.

"Inside. I want to stay with him, trying to shake him from this catatonic state he buried himself into. If you think I'm going to give up on him after… after…" she couldn't go on.

"I know, I don't like to see him like that as well, I'd like to shake him myself, but you heard the doctor, it won't be an easy job" Hetty paused going closer to her agent "I'm not asking you to give up on him, but just be careful. I am aware of how much you deeply care about him… how much you're affected by Mr. Deeks' actual condition and I assume my late words didn't help this at all. There's a fine line between bringing him back and losing him forever, and sadly it's very easy to make the wrong move, even if you only want the best for him…"

"I know!" Kensi snapped, realizing immediately that she overreacted "But everything is better than watching him dying day after day, consumed by his inner demons… I simply want my partner back… my friend back. I… I think he wouldn't want to end his days like that Hetty…" tears formed once again in her eyes so she had to lift her head to the ceiling to stop them from falling "Deeks has always been there for me, always having my back. He saved my life more than once… I think it's my turn now. I owe him" with that Kensi turned on his heels and walked into Deeks' room.

Hetty looked at her "Good luck Miss Blye… I wish I could have your courage" she whispered softly "Please, bring him back…"

* * *

When Kensi stepped into Deeks' room she was welcomed by an unnatural silence that sent shivers down her spine. She wasn't used to this. Since the very first time she had met him, even if they were nothing more than strangers, he had some witty remarks to give her, some cheeky and idiotic jokes at her expense; she had always found them annoying, but right now, she'd pay to get one.

Deeks' eyes were something else that scared her to death. They were completely empty, without any emotion, any hint of life, not the usual deep blue that sparkled every time he spoke.

She sighed deeply… man, she missed him.

Bracing herself, she walked slowly to his bedside, sitting on the omnipresent chair they all took turns to sit on. He was awake, but completely unaware of her presence, still, as she had never seen him. If it wasn't for the random blinking of his eyelashes, she would not be even sure he was alive.

Kensi studied him, intently. He was so pale, so thin and not even the almost full beard could hide his hollow cheeks. Unconsciously, she gently caressed his face, without receiving any reaction. His eyes continued staring in front of him, completely unfocused.

"Come on Deeks… you can't go on like that… I can't do that as well" she said with feeble voice. Her hand moved to his forehead where she brushed away a couple of golden locks with a caring gesture.

Tears veiled her eyes when her partner didn't even blink, remaining still and unresponsive, lost in his own personal hell. She knew that wherever he was, it was not a nice place to be even if, at this very moment, it looked like the only escape from the bitter reality. "I have a feeling that you can hear me… and that there's a part of you that wants to start talking and bickering with me. So please… do it… Tell me whatever you want, because I don't have any intention to go anywhere until you'll get out of this… you heard me Deeks? Please… don't let me hit you…" her voice broke a little, sounding weird even to her own ears, her lips curved into a bitter and sad smile.

She was so lost in her thought that she didn't realize that someone had walked into the room.

"Oh hello, Agent Blye…" a deep voice greeted her.

Kensi was startled and jerked on her chair, recognizing the young man with gentle features approaching her "Dr. Walcott… I… I was… "

The man noticed her embarrassment and moved in her help "It's ok, I understand and I think talking to him could be a good way to shake him up from this state" he smiled sweetly. He was a young man with short red hair and sparkling green eyes, in her mid-thirties, but he looked younger in spite of his baritone voice that didn't match his general appearance.

"It didn't seem to work though…" she stated gravely "Do you think that… do you think he will ever get back to his own self?" she asked, afraid of the answer. Until this moment, she hadn't thought about the idea of not having the old Deeks back.

"It's hard to say. Every patient has a different story, a different way to cope with things that happen to him or around him… the fact that he shut everything and everyone out is not good, not good at all" Dr. Walcott started to explain, trying to use simple words "Probably this is the worst way to react to a particular event, but I won't lose hope if I were in you…"

"I am not giving up on him, that's for sure" Kensi told him resolutely "But… what if something happened to him in the last period, something that brought his worst memories to the surface… his worst nightmares…"

The young doctor looked at her with puzzled expression "What… what are you talking about exactly? Of course according to what you can tell me, I understand the whole secret-life-of-a-spy thingy…"

The NCIS agent couldn't suppress a chuckle "Why I have this weird feeling that you and Deeks could get along pretty well…" she said, shaking her head.

"I bet he's a funny guy then…" Dr. Walcott replied winking.

"A bit over the line, but yes…" Kensi nodded becoming all of the sudden serious "…he is a funny guy, but sweet and caring at the same time"

The doctor sensed the sorrow coming from her words, so he put a gentle hand over her shoulder "We'll get him through this…"

For some long moments, she didn't say anything, staring silently at her partner's still form "He… during an assignment, he had to see things, to do things, that brought him back in time, to the worst period of his life, where he was hurt very bad, physically and mentally. I… I think it was too much for him, too much to bear… I'm afraid that he is scared to come back from this…" she pointed her hand at him, unable to find the right way to describe the state Deeks was in "…because he doesn't want to be hurt again…"

The doctor listened at her words intently, scrutinizing the man lying in bed "You know Agent Blye, you could be a good psychologist…" he said with a light smile on his lips.

"I don't think so… or I would have helped him…" she stated gravely, feeling a bit guilty "I saw that something was not right with him…"

"It's not your fault, for what I've seen so far, your friend would have lost it sooner or later, with or without your intervention. He was like a too tense violin chord… sooner or later it would break down…"

"So what can I do now? What can I do to help him… to get him back?" Kensi practically pleaded.

"You need to give him something worth coming back from this catatonic state. Look, at this very moment, he is burned out, there's nothing left in him, no energy, no will, nothing… and he's letting this numbness consuming him, slowly. We need to give him a goal, something he could grip to get out of this state and re-build himself, get back his strength and mostly the will to live, which he lost completely…" Dr. Walcott explained, weighing every word he said.

"I…" Kensi felt a deep void inside of her, like someone had stolen a part of her soul. She could have never imagined to hear what the doctor had just told her, referred to Deeks who was one of the most positive person she had ever met. In spite of his hard childhood, he had managed to live a life always with a smile on his face, with an optimistic attitude… he had the joy of life and he was able to give it to other people. It was a gift… and now all of this was gone. No, she could not accept it… she had to do something. A new wave of determination took possession of her, she was not ready to lose one of the best things ever happened in her life "So… where do I start? What can I do?"

The doctor smiled, sensing the sudden change in the woman's behavior, the new light in her eyes, so he started explaining it to her.

* * *

Sam was sitting at his desk trying to fill some reports Hetty asked them to write down just as an excuse to take them away from the hospital. But he couldn't concentrate on them at all. Once in a while, he lifted his head only to find his partner staring blankly in front of him. What happened with Deeks probably affected Callen more than he wanted to let on, but making him talk about his feelings was, as always, very hard.

"Wanna talk about it?" Sam asked, leaning against the back of his chair and throwing his pencil on the desk.

"Talk about what?" Callen replied without looking at his partner.

"About the fact that you've been staring at his empty desk for almost an hour? Or maybe about the fact that you haven't told me a single word about how you're feeling about what happened with Deeks the other day? Things like that don't happen every day"

"Yeah, fortunately" unconsciously Callen's hand moved to his chest, right when Deeks' gun had been pointed "Any changes?"

Sam knew exactly what his partner was referring to, but he was even aware that it was his friend's way to escape from his questions "No, he still the same. Still unresponsive"

"I… I was scared Sam. The other day… with Deeks"

"G, it's a normal reaction. He was aiming a gun at you…" the ex-Seal started talking but Callen interrupted him promptly.

"It was not that, not the fact that he was probably going to kill me if Kensi hadn't stopped him in time. His eyes… that was what scared me. All I could see into them was pain and terror" the senior agent was silent for a moment as he was trying to find a way to express himself "…and I was scared that one day someone might see the same terror and the same pain in my eyes, that I might lose it as he did. Does it make any sense for you?"

"Yeah, it does…" Sam replied gravely "Look, our job is dangerous, it can take us to our limits, sometimes even beyond that. We're very good at it, all of us, but this doesn't make us invincible. We're human, with our strengths… and with our fears. The first thing we have to learn is to face them and use them as a trigger to do our job at best… but sadly, we're still human and we all have a breaking point. And Deeks reached his… fortunately we were with him when it happened"

"And what if no one of you will be there to stop me whenever is going to happen to me? What if I will hurt someone? If Deeks lost it, why can't I lose it myself?"

"You can't live with the fear of something like that happening, G" Sam was surprised to see his friend with so many doubts, it was a bit out of character. What happened to Deeks must have hit him pretty hard "And you know, I'll always keep an eye on you… I will shoot you before you'll do anything foolish…" he said these last words with a smile planted on his face.

Callen chuckled "As you were ready to shoot him the other day… thanks for that by the way. I wonder if this was your way to pay him back for all the bad jokes he threw at you…"

The tension was finally broken and both men felt like they had a lighter weight on their shoulders. They stared at each other, knowing that there was nothing more to add about this matter. It was Sam who decided to break the silence "I'm hungry, why don't you buy me something? I think it's your turn… Then we'll stop by the hospital and force Kensi to take a break"

"She still there?" Callen wondered, even if he wasn't very surprised of that. He was aware of the tight bond Kensi and Deeks was forming, of their friendship, so he didn't find strange that she spent so much time at his bedside.

The ex-Seal stood up after closing the folder he was reading "Yep… and she's still blaming herself, because she didn't see that coming. I tried to talk to her, but you know how stubborn she is"

"No one could have seen that coming. We all know that when it's a matter of personal feelings, Deeks is not as open as he always is"

"Reminds me of someone I know…" smirked Sam cunningly.

"I don't know what you're talking about Sam…" Callen's expression, though, became serious "It's hard to talk about personal matters when they bring you back only pain. It's better to hide them, buried them inside of yourself"

"Speaking out of experience?"

Again Callen chuckled, his partner knew him very well "Kinda… you know, there's a thing I truly admired in Deeks" he started "And it's his ability to smile at life, even after all the bad stuff it threw at him" he paused, for a moment his blue eyes were lost somewhere "But in spite all of his good attitude he lost it… I thought he could be the last person something like could have happened to…"

His partner watched him, studying him intently "You know what? We will bring him back… this place is too quiet without him and you're starting to be a bit too weird for my taste"

"You're missing him too, eh?"

"Me? Missing Deeks?" Sam shrugged, shaking his head before admitting "Yes… but don't you dare telling him!"

"My lips are sealed" Callen mimed to close a zip on his mouth "…only if you buy me a steak this time"

"Blackmailing? That's your tactic? You know it'll never work…" unconsciously Sam moved his hand towards the back pocket of his jeans.

"Oh well… I see" winking at his friend, Callen got up "Don't worry you didn't forget your wallet…"

The big man could not stop himself from smiling amused this time "Come on, let's get out of here…"

* * *

So, does it still make sense? I do hope so...


	3. Chapter 3

Again, thanks for all the reviews and advices.

A lot of people suggested me to find a beta-reader, so maybe if anyone is interetsed or knows someone who is, just let me know.

* * *

Burned Out - Chapter 3

Hetty watched from the observation glass as Dr. Walcott checked on Deeks, seeing the frown on the young doctor's forehead. She could see that even him was starting to be a bit frustrated by his patient's unresponsiveness. This was not good, not at all, she thought.

She waited until he finished and walked out of the room, then she approached him "Dr. Walcott…" she greeted him "I assume from the look on your face that you didn't have good news for me"

The young doctor smiled, but he couldn't hide the fact that the diminutive woman scared him. She could be very intimidating in spite of her appearance, maybe it was the way she spoke, the way she moved, but for sure it was hard to predict what she was going to do "I'm afraid that there are no changes in Detective Deeks' condition"

"And you find this… frustrating"

"Yes" Walcott replied instinctively, realizing immediately it had been mistake

"Don't worry, doctor. I'm not questioning your expertise here, I'm simply stating what my eyes read into yours" Hetty said calmly, with a light, amused smile curving her lips "Reading people is part of my job"

"And part of my job should be helping my patients to get better" his glance moved to the inside of the room, where his catatonic patient was lying still.

"I am sure you're doing everything you can for Mr. Deeks" she paused a moment, letting the young man relaxing a bit "So, what's the verdict?"

Walcott inhaled deeply and then started explaining "His vitals are good, he's more hydrated and his whole body is responding quite well to the treatments. The breathing is very good too… I am satisfied about his general physical condition. The catatonic state is a bit more complicated. As I told Miss Blye the other day, he needs stimulations, something worth coming back. Talking to him is a good start"

"I'll be sure that this will be done. We'll give him plenty of reasons to come back"

The doctor couldn't suppress a chuckle "Why don't I find it hard to believe?"

"My team can be pretty persuasive…" Hetty smiled herself, thinking about her men.

"Oh well, I've noticed. Agent Callen's silence is intimidating as much as Agent Hanna's physical presence. Those two are pretty scary… but I have to say that Agent Blye is the worst. She threatened my whole stuff when they told her to leave the room for few minutes. And…" the doctor hesitated, words died in his throat.

"And what doctor?" pressed Hetty, making a step towards him.

"Well… you… you are their righteous leader" he managed to say with the right amount of irony.

This time Hetty was not able to stop herself and laughed hard, allowing herself to the first real laugh since this whole mess started "Good escape, doctor. I bet you'd get along very well with our Mr. Deeks, he's a master of finding a way out…"

"Someone already told me that…"

"I think Miss Blye is the best judge about this matter…" she stated still smiling "…but for this reason she's the one who's more affected by Mr. Deeks' current situation which leads me back to my next question. According to your experience, how many chances are there that he'll get out of this state?"

"Miss Lange, I would like to tell you that he'll be up and running in a blink of an eye, but these situations are hard to predict and mostly, every patient has a different reaction. I saw people who were more vigil than he is at the moment, that never got out of that state; others, who were even worse, came back to have a normal life. Sadly, I think it's impossible to give you a correct and precise answer" Dr. Walcott paused, giving Hetty time to digest his words "But I have highs hopes that Detective Deeks will come back… eventually. He has too much to lose not doing so, sooner or later his subconscious will realize it and then, well, then the hard work will start…"

She nodded gravely, understanding exactly what the doctor was telling her. Even after Deeks will wake up, because she was not questioning the fact that he will do it eventually, there will be a lot of work to do with him. Things like this one just couldn't go away without consequences "Thanks doctor, for your honesty"

"My job"

Hetty was going to reply to him when a fake cough stopped her.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

"Lieutenant Bates, glad you got my message" she greeted the police officer, her expression hardened.

Sensing the tension growing between the two people in front of him, the doctor decided it was better for him to leave "I better go. Just call me if you need anything. Goodbye, Ms. Lange"

"Goodbye doctor and thanks again" she told him thankfully, turning then around to face Bates.

The cop sensed her inquisitive look on him and tensed "What? I am here, isn't it what you wanted? Your message sounded more like an order… and you know I'm not very keen on being ordered around. Especially by you" he remarked ironically, but without any trace of anger "We should have met at my office though, I don't like hospitals"

"I specifically asked you to come here, because I wanted to show you what your bloody assignment did to Mr. Deeks. Because I wanted you to see what calling him whenever you feel the need, did to him" Hetty's voice didn't raise at all, but her tone was sharp as a razor "I thought that you said that you knew where he belonged… that he belonged with us"

Bates stood still, listening to her words, his eyes fixed on the lying figure inside the room. He had always thought that Marty Deeks was not cut to be a cop, no matter how good the results he brought back during his first undercover assignments, were. He was too unconventional, too unpredictable… not enough reliable and mostly he had hard time respecting the authority. His authority mostly.

Even if he tried, the Lieutenant couldn't stand the man, but all in all, he couldn't deny his merits; actually Deeks was damn good at what he did. He had witnessed it himself during the whole Clarence Fisk operation. It was right after the end of that assignment, that he had realized that his undercover detective had found a home at NCIS and that he better tried not to take him away from them as often as had done in the past "Hetty, you know that it wasn't my decision… it was my boss who asked me to require Deeks' presence"

"But you should have told me what he was involved with! You should have felt that this whole mess was hitting him too close to home! You didn't do anything to protect him…"

"My hands were tight" protested Bates, but he started to feel a bit uneasy in Hetty's presence. The little woman's eyes were sending daggers to him even if she kept a calm appearance.

"Oh bugger! You were his handler and you could have stopped the operation earlier than you did. You could have taken him out sooner… and maybe he wouldn't be here now" she was pointing her fingers at Bates' chest, twisting it painfully "…and don't try to deny it!"

The Lieutenant bowed his head as a scolded kid could do in front of his teacher "You know… I really don't get it. I really don't get what you all see in him. He's a good cop, but…"

"This is exactly the point, the difference between you and us. You can only see the cop, we see the man behind that badge. The same man that we want back after you sent him to hell…" Hetty was finding hard to control his anger now "I find appropriate that you leave now. Consider yourself lucky that Miss Blye was not here. I don't think you'd have gone home unscathed"

Unconsciously, Bates shivered at the idea. He had seen the loyalty this team had towards Deeks and he didn't like to put himself in the middle "I think you made yourself clear" he hesitated a moment then he added "If he… I mean…"

"When" Hetty corrected him "What do I have to tell Mr. Deeks when he will wake up? Because this is what you wanted to say, isn't it?"

The Lieutenant chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief "Just tell him that… that I might not like him, but I never wanted this to happen" and with that he left.

Hetty watched him walking away, then turning her attention to Deeks through the glass, she whispered "See, Mr. Deeks? We're all waiting for you to come back. Don't keep us waiting too long…" then slowly, she stepped inside the room to keep him company until one of his teammates will show up. She knew she won't have to wait too long.

* * *

It had been two weeks since she had talked to Dr. Walcott and once again, Kensi found herself sitting at Deeks' bedside. She had tried everything to bring him back from the world he had shut himself into, but without any result. When he wasn't sleeping, he simply laid in bed, staring numbly in front of him, with unfocused and distant eyes. At least with the doctors' and nurses' help, he had gained a little bit of weight and he wasn't as pale as he was before, looking less sick. They had shaved the long beard some days ago and now, with his stubble back, he looked more like the Deeks she knew so well.

But deep inside of herself, Kensi was starting to become frustrated by the lack of results. She was not used to failures and for sure she didn't want to fail in this task. It was too important…

"Hell Deeks, I'm tired of playing this game! It's getting boring…" she said sighing, releasing her growing dissatisfaction "I swear, I would have never imagined to say that, but I much prefer your never-ending talking-nonsense than this… this…. Heck how do you call this? I don't even know how to call this... Silence? Absence? What? Tell me… because believe me, I don't know what to do anymore" she realized that her voice had become louder, maybe too loud, so she closed her eyes to calm herself.

"If you wanted to get rid of me, you could have found another way because this one is not fun at all" she locked her glance on him, on those blue eyes that she would like to see brightening with life.

"The office is not the same without you… it's too peaceful. No one whines, no one complains, no one jokes… damn it, I think not everyone is still the same without you around. We miss you Deeks… even Sam, trust me. And Hetty too…, I think she's got a soft spot for your shaggy hair and your surfer drawl" Kensi bit her lip nervously, before continuing with her one-side conversation "I miss you Deeks… I miss my best friend" she waited hoping that she could see him reacting at her words, but nothing. For a moment, she had stupidly thought that he could react to her admission of fondness of him. How silly she had been…

For several minutes she simply sit there, in silence, watching him "I thought that you wanted to come back to me… I thought you cared enough about me to come back, but maybe I was wrong…" without thinking too much about her actions, she held his hand in hers surprised by how cold it was, especially compared to the usual heat emanating from his body "Why don't you want to prove me that I was wrong? I know you'd die to…" she stopped abruptly realizing that maybe her choice of words was not appropriate and at the same moment a dread fear gripped her heart. She had never considered, even remotely, that he won't wake up from his state, but what if it will happen instead? What if he won't go back to life? "No… you can't consider that as an option Deeks, can you? You love life too much to waste yours in this way… you fought too much in the past not to fight this…"

Kensi's eyes watered a bit at the simple thought to lose her partner, a partner the more the time had passed, the more important had become in her life "Oh heck Deeks… you must be proud of yourself, because you turned me into an emotional wreck…" she laughed while tears rolled down her cheeks. She hastened to wipe them away, afraid that someone would step into the room; no one was allowed to see her like that.

Tightening her grip on his hand, she started again, even more seriously "Look, I can only imagine what it had been for you to go through that undercover operation… seeing what you had to see, doing what you have to do, but it's over. You killed Tan, Deeks… he won't be able to kill anyone anymore, there won't be any other kids stolen from her family because of him, no more beaten kids… and he won't hurt you anymore. You took care of him because this is what you do, this is what you are. You are a cop… and a very good one. Do you remember what you told me… the reason why you became a cop?" she paused smiling sweetly, remembering that moment "No, not the fact that women love men in uniforms… that's overrated… even if I'm sure you look great in a uniform…" her smile became even wider now, in amusement. She really would like to see him wearing a uniform, but why the thought came to her right now, she truly didn't know "…you said that you wanted to make a difference for people, that you wanted to help them… Well, this is exactly what you did, that you do every day…"

Kensi stopped talking… maybe she had imagined, but it seemed to her that Deeks' eyes were blinking more rapidly than usual. She straightened up in the chair, looking from one side to another, as she was looking for someone who could confirm her impression, then her glance moved again to his partner. It wasn't imagination… he was truly blinking more frequently. Her heart almost skipped a bit… maybe her words were finally getting through him, maybe it was a good sign, maybe she had to go on talking. And so she did…

"You really make a difference Deeks… not only for the people who are close to you, but for the people in general. See? Your father was wrong…" she hesitated a bit, aware that this was a tough subject to touch, but deep inside of her, she knew it was the right thing to say in this moment "…you're not useless. That scared little kid who shot his father has become a man and a very good one, a man who can do everything to help the other people… a man who makes a real difference. Do you want to throw all of this away because a little piece of… garbage like Arthur Tan? Would you like to see your father to win over you?"

And it was then that the unexpected happened. Tears started flowing on Deeks' face as he turned his head to look at Kensi, straight in the eyes. As she acknowledged him, he couldn't stop himself and, without saying a single word, he started sobbing, his whole body trembling.

Shocked by the fact to see him finally reacting and by the reaction itself, Kensi got up and sat on the bed, guiding him into her arms "It's ok… you're going to be ok…" she consoled him gently caressing his hair "Everything is going to be ok now" she said, channeling what he told her when the whole mess about his father's murder happened.

"I… I…" his voice was hoarse and broken by the anguish he felt inside of him "I… feel so… empty Kensi… it terrifies me…"

Kensi felt a pang in her heart at the vulnerability of her always confident partner "Sshhhtt… it's ok… you'll feel better soon. I promise you…" she told him as her eyes watered as well, but she didn't care to show her emotions now. It was not the time to be selfish now, it was time to help a friend. She held him tighter in her embrace as he buried his face into her shoulder, still sobbing like a scared baby.

They stayed like that for what it seemed a lifetime, then when finally he didn't have any more tears to shed, Deeks lifted his head and looked at Kensi, his eyes finally aware, filled with fear and desperation, but, at least, back to life "I… don't know what…" he gulped, shaking a little "I'm… scared Kensi… my chest hurts… it's hard to breathe…"

There was so much pain in his expression that melted her heart, it hurt her seeing him like this "It's Ok Deeks… I'm here. You're not alone in this… I'm here" she whispered softly guiding him into her embrace again. She could feel him shaking, his breath erratic "Relax… everything will be fine now…"

"Please… don't leave me… scared… so scared…" he murmured feebly "Please Kens…"

The knot in her stomach tightened even more, but she needed to be strong now… for him, for the two of them "I won't leave you Deeks… we'll get through this, together" she paused a little swallowing hard "We're partners, remember?"

"Partners… yes…"

Kensi felt him relaxing a bit, a bit of the tension leaving his still trembling body "Partners" she repeated. She could not understand why, but in that precise instant, she had the feeling that they could make it. As she had told him, they would get through this… together, as partners… As friends.

* * *

_Two months later_

She walked slowly on the beach, feeling the fresh sand of the morning caressing her bare feet. A light breeze passed through her hair, like gentle fingers brushing it. It was barely 6.00am but there were all the premises for a good day.

The beach was not too crowded, except for some people jogging around and some surfers that were waiting for the perfect waves.

Kensi spotted a figure sitting in the sand and smiled sweetly at the peaceful image. She knew she would have found him here… it was his favorite place, the one he went every time he needed a break from everything, every time he needed to think.

Deeks was sitting on the beach, wearing a simple pair of khaki shorts and a light blue shirt. His legs were bent to his chest and his head was resting on them, tilted on one side, his eyes fixed on the horizon. Monty laid beside him, as he wanted to keep an eye on his master.

"Hey… I was sure to find you here" Kensi told him, approaching him.

"I figured" he simply replied without moving at all.

She sat next to him, leaning her head to his shoulder "Do you miss it?" she wondered knowing already the answer.

"Yeah…" Deeks sighed heavily, his voice nothing more than a whisper "…but not as much as I miss having your back at work" he finally turned his head to face her. His deep blue eyes veiled with a bit of sadness.

In the last two months, Deeks had made a lot of progress, but he was not ready to go back to work yet. As his therapist used to say, he was not stable enough to go back on duty. He still had panic attacks or black-out moments, but they were getting less frequent and not so heavy as they were at the beginning. During this period, Kensi had always been at his side, being always there when he had the worst of the episodes. She was his constant, the only thing that kept him sane, that kept him grounded to reality without losing himself in the darkest places of his mind. When she was around, he was always feeling better.

"Give yourself a bit of time… you're doing great" she reassured him, holding his hand "And you know that I can take care of myself…"

His lips curved into a little faint smile, but there was still a lot of sadness in his deep blue eyes "I know… but I'm supposed to be there with you…"

"Hey, you need to be a little more patient, then before you'd realize, you'll be back to be the same annoying Marty Deeks" she gave him her biggest grin "Don't let him know that I tell you, but Sam is the one who misses you the most" she wanted him to flash one of his infamous smiles she missed so much, but her expectations were disappointed once again. He simply turned his attention to the sea, in silence.

After few moments, he started talking again "I… I never thanked you properly" he said almost inaudibly.

"Thanked me? For what?"

"I… I lost it, didn't I?" the sorrow in his voice was heartbreaking to hear "I remember being mad, full of rage… I thought it was my dad, but it was… it was Callen. If you haven't…" he closed his eyes tightly, unable to go on, fighting the tears from falling.

"No one thinks less of you because of that, not even Callen" Kensi took his hand once again "We all knew that it wasn't really you"

"You… were there, talking to me, at the hospital. I remember your voice while I thought I was losing my mind… it was like I was drowning and your voice was what kept me afloat" Deeks paused locking his eyes on hers "You... you saved me..."

Unconsciously, she put a hand on the back of his neck, gently caressing his hair, surprised, when she realized what she did, that he didn't retreat or flinch "Hey, you're my best friend... you saved my life so many times, it was time for me to do something for you..."

He bowed his head, leaning his jaw against his bent knees "I'm such a mess Kens... I don't know..."

"Sshhtt, no" she silenced him putting a finger on his lips, preventing him from going on talking "Don't... we'll make it, I have already told you. You and I will work this out. Maybe it will take time, but together we'll figure it out..."

"As we always do..." he said calmly, smiling a little, remembering when he told her the same words that time he pretended to have been fired.

Kensi took his hand in her, letting him know that she didn't have any intention to go anywhere, that she was there for him. Leaning her head on his shoulder and staring at the blue immensity of the ocean, she whispered "Yeah... as we always do..."

Deeks moved his head so it could lean against hers, feeling at peace for the first time in what it looked like ages "Thank you partner" he murmured sighing. Yes, everything was going to be fine until they were together. As partners... as friends.

The end

* * *

A/N: So that's it. I hope the ending didn't seem too rushed or too cheesy and that the whole story arc made sense. This story was born as a Deeks and Kensi bonding-friendhsip story, so it might feel the effects of this, but I decided to add a little bit of the team. Just because it felt right to me. I hope these bits didn't sound too disconnected.

And for whoever asked about it (sorry I have a terrible memory!) I didn't forget about a little confrontation between Deeks and Callen... there will be a little one shot about is soon.


End file.
